Many of you have chatted with me about different signs and symptoms of menopause at various ages. One symptom that is no respecter of age is that of low libido. Many of the 35+ gals (and even younger) that have experienced abnormal hormone levels at this young age often do so because their testosterone levels are low resulting in low libido or low sex drive. No matter the age, this can cause great concern in your marriage and sexual relationship with your spouse. We all know how important this is! Our husbands truly “need” or desire more sex than we women do (most times) so this can cause a serious conflict when you thwart his requests at all costs. So what can you do??
First of all you need to meet with your OB/GYN and have your hormone levels checked. If your testosterone is low, talk with your Doctor about your options for getting this stabilized. In the meantime you need some resources to spice things up when you don’t necessarily feel like it! That’s when your girlfriends who have experienced this before come in handy aka ME!
You’re probably bored of the same ole same ole, well I say “sex starts in the kitchen.”
Gentlemen – love on your wife starting in the morning – at the kitchen table. A way to a woman is with words so use them to your advantage! Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her. Be understanding of her lack of desire (it’s not all her fault – it’s just a season of life so be patient)! Gals, start planning a “date night” where you can knock his socks off (literally)! Get some sexy lingerie, high heels, thigh highs and start planning for an intimate night with your man that he’ll never forget! Start sending him texts that morning with hints that you have something up your sleeve. Tease him a bit! Get him excited to come home and see what you’re up to. Make sure you plan accordingly – get kids lined up with activities or babysitters, or make sure your work day ends on time. This is an important part of your relationship and you need to make it a priority.
My go to book for great tips!
If you have trouble planning nights like this I highly suggest the book, “101 Night of Great Sex” by Laura Corn. This will make your sex life worth chatting about! It uses “secret sealed seductions” with 50 suggestions for him and 50 for her. Each playful tip comes in a sealed envelope that each can pull out from the book. Turn your bedroom from a place of boredom to one of discovery, innovation and sexual freedom like never before! “Let’s give ’em something to talk about!”
Don’t rely fully on your hormones. Take initiative.
Once your hormones are stabilized, don’t forget what we discussed! Don’t rely on your hormones to kick in and give you the desire to meet your husband’s needs. You need to take the initiative, plan a night a week that you can make your guy your highest priority, plan something fun and exciting and watch how your marriage will blossom! He’ll surely thank you and won’t mind when you remind him that “sex starts in the kitchen”!
